How to Make a Decision – Part 3
When faced with difficult, overwhelming decisions, the only way I know how to tackle them is one step at a time. It doesn’t matter if you have created the situation yourself or been forced in to it … if you want to move forward, you have to do it one step at a time.
So, I decided to start telling people of my plans to study Spanish. As we all know, saying it out loud keeps us accountable. I started with telling my closest friends and my sister. I guess I was testing it out to see what kind of reaction I would get. For the most part, I got excitement … oh yes, and concern … but mostly excitement. I listened carefully to all of their questions so that I would know what I had to ask myself and come up with answers for!
Next up I began telling a few business contacts … again, treading lightly, before putting all of my weight forward. I’m not sure what I expected people to say … maybe I thought people would tell me I was crazy or that it was a stupid idea. Maybe I was waiting for people to convince me that I shouldn’t go …. regardless of what I was scared of, I was met by an outpouring of encouragement, excitement and ‘you can do it’ responses.
I think the decision was really solidified in my own mind when I told my counsellor. Yes folks, I am admitting on the big ol’ internet that I see a counsellor. GASP! She helps me put my head on straight when it gets twisted around backwards and I can’t wiggle it back around on my own. She’s unbiased, helpful, caring and doesn’t judge! You’d be surprised at how many people you know who see counsellors and life coaches, but its still such a taboo thing to talk about.
I remember going into her office and actually being excited, instead of discouraged and overwhelmed. I told her that I had made a decision to go learn Spanish and she simply said ‘And how do you feel about it now that you’ve decided?’
My response was something along the lines of ‘I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’ve been struggling with being unhappy and overwhelmed and now I feel like a have a place to move forward to.’
That realization was huge for me.
For the last couple of years that I have been seeing a counsellor, her main message to me is to practice mindfulness and to be kind to yourself. She has gently been nudging me toward taking care of myself more and making sure that I make decisions that are best for me, my health and my sanity. Encouraging me to find, and leap a balance and fulfilled life!
Wow, I think the message finally made it through my stubborn armour and it’s pointy arrow made a clean slice right into my heart. Right where I needed it most.
I’ll never forget when my counsellor asked me ‘So, what’s next?’
Then the tears came … Damn it! I thought I was excited. I’m excited aren’t I? I thought I was doing good not crying! What’s up with this?
And once again, I was back into overwhelmed mode. I had made the decision to learn Spanish. I was strong and confidant about wanting to do it, but geeze, what does come next?
The counsellor helped me decide what steps I needed to take to move forward and off I went to think about the where, when and how to make it all happen!